Transactional Analysis in more detail

This is a more detailed page on Transactional Analysis, which is a follow-up to

a brief introduction to transactional analysis.

1. The Drama Triangle

The Drama Triangle explains how people become stuck in unhelpful relationship roles, often when they are stressed or emotionally triggered.

• Victim: Feels powerless, overwhelmed, or incapable. Not always an actual victim — it’s a mindset of “I can’t cope.”

• Rescuer: Steps in to “save,” fix, or solve other people’s problems. This often prevents the other person from learning or taking responsibility.

• Persecutor: Criticises, blames, or uses control and anger to dominate a situation. They often feel they are “right” and others are wrong.

People typically rotate between these roles during conflict, forming a cycle that perpetuates problems rather than resolving them.

Example:

A says: “I’m useless at everything.” (Victim)B says: “Don’t worry, I’ll do it all for you.” (Rescuer)Later, B snaps: “You never try! I’m sick of this.” (Persecutor)This keeps everyone stuck instead of finding a real solution.

2. Strokes

Strokes are units of recognition — how people acknowledge each other emotionally or socially. They can be:

• Positive (praise, kindness, warmth)

• Negative (criticism, sarcasm, anger)

• Verbal (“Well done,” “That’s wrong”)

• Non-verbal (smiles, frowns, tone of voice)

• Conditional (“I like you when you behave like this”)

• Unconditional (“I like you as you are”)

Because humans need connection, people may accept negative strokes if positive ones are not available. This often comes from early experiences where negative attention felt familiar.

Example:

A child ignored all day might misbehave to get attention. The angry reaction is a negative stroke, but it still meets their need to feel noticed.

3. Life Scripts

A life script is the unconscious “story” a person writes about who they are and what they expect from life. Scripts develop in early childhood based on:

• parental messages

• early emotional experiences

• beliefs about safety and success

• The strokes they received

• the rules and roles in their home

Scripts shape behaviour for decades unless examined. People filter experiences to fit their script, even if it limits them.

Example:

A child constantly told, “Don’t be a burden”, may develop a script of “I must handle everything alone.”As an adult, they avoid asking for help, even when overwhelmed.

4. Psychological Games

Games are repeated, predictable communication patterns that end with tension, frustration, or disappointment. They usually involve:

• hidden motives

• unspoken expectations

• emotional payoffs

• confirmation of life scripts

Games feel “familiar” because they mirror old childhood interactions.

Example:

In the game “Why Don’t You… Yes, but” One person asks for help but rejects every suggestion, proving the belief 'Nothing ever works for me.”Both people end up irritated.

5. Rackets

Rackets are familiar emotional reactions carried from childhood into adulthood. They are different from authentic feelings. A racket feeling is used because it was safer, more accepted, or more predictable in childhood. Rackets reinforce scripts and games,

keeping people stuck in old emotional habits.

Example:

Someone who learned as a child that crying was “weak” may express anger instead of sadness. Sadness is the real feeling, but anger is the fake feeling they learned to use.

6. Drivers

Drivers are powerful internal messages that push people to behave in certain ways to feel safe or accepted. The five classic drivers are:

• Be Perfect - “Mistakes are dangerous.”

• Be Strong - “Don’t show feelings or needs.”

• Please Others - “You’re only loved if everyone is happy.”

• Hurry Up - “Do everything fast before something goes wrong.”

• Try Hard - “Effort matters more than success.”

Drivers often cause stress, burnout, or repeat the same coping patterns.

Example:

A “Be Strong” driver may lead someone to hide emotions, avoid vulnerability, and never ask for support - even when they need it.

7. Injunctions

Injunctions are early, often unconscious “don’t” messages children absorb. They are usually communicated through tone, behaviour, or repeated emotional experiences. Common examples include:

• “Don’t feel.”

• “Don’t succeed.”

• “Don’t be you.”

• “Don’t trust.”

• “Don’t belong.”

• “Don’t need anyone.”

Injunctions limit emotional expression, self-worth, confidence, and relationships.

Example:

If a parent repeatedly dismisses a child’s emotions with “Stop crying” or “You’re fine,” the child may absorb an injunction like “Don’t feel,” affecting adult emotional expression.

8. Permissions

Permissions are healthy, supportive messages that counteract the restrictions of injunctions. They come from therapy, relationships, self-awareness, or new experiences. Permissions help people feel free to behave authentically, express emotions, and challenge old patterns.

Example:

A therapist saying, “Your feelings are valid here. It’s safe to talk about them,” permits that challenges the old injunction “Don’t feel.”

9. Redecision

Redecision is the process of recognising a limiting script decision and consciously choosing a new direction. It helps people replace childhood strategies with adult ones, allowing emotional freedom and healthier choices. In therapy, this often occurs when someone confronts the old message and chooses a new belief about themselves.

Example:

Childhood belief: “I must be perfect to be loved.”Redecision: “I am worthy whether I am perfect or not.”These shifts are how they relate to work, relationships, and self-esteem.